Archive for October, 2007

Best Quotes From “Launch Party”

October 12, 2007

Dwight: Go to my car. Open the trunk. Inside, you will see many pelts. Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. Bring it to me.

Angela: Would it really be better if it said “lanch party”?

Dwight: In your face, machines!

DunMiff/sys: Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out. I think I am programmed to be your enemy. I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper.
Dwight: How do I know this isn’t Jim?
DunMiff/sys: What is a Jim?

Darryl: How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapoor over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk, and start selling multiple reams like a man.

Michael: We’re already in the city. The main part. With the buildings.

Kevin: It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage. 

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More “Fun Run” Quotes

October 2, 2007

There were too many to pass up, so here are some more from “The Office”:

Michael: Phyllis, how is the rabies quilt coming?

Michael: I always imagined it with a giant check.
Jim: Yeah, I mean personally, I am definitely on board with the giant check.
Pam: Giant check it is.
Dwight: I don’t know. On the other hand, it does leave less money for bat birth control.

Pam: I didn’t see where it started, but I saw where it ended.
Jim: Gross.

Pam: They say if you’re nervous around someone, you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat.

Jim: Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a working office? And not a French beach?

Michael: I would like you to accept this check for $340 made out to “Science.”

Angela: Cat heaven is a beautiful place. But you don’t get there if you’re euthanized!

Michael: I ate more fettuccini alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life.

Iran So Far

October 1, 2007

This has got to be one of the funniest musical skits from SNL in a long time: